Peeps War!

The Civil War had 700,000 casualties, Word War II had anywhere from 50 to 70 million deaths. But there is no war that can compete with the brutality and hatred that is displayed in the “WAR OF THE PEEPS!”

Sugar + Gelatin + Corn Syrup + The Rage of Murdered Souls = Peep. These colorful shits do not fuck shit up year around. This is when some cunt says, “Bro it isn’t Easter, where the fuck can I even find Peeps?” And then I say it is fucking Halloween and they have Peeps so shut the fuck up. Peeps are a very popular candy and you can find them at most grocery and candy stores. So what is a Peeps War? Please don’t Google it, because it is just huge fucking nerds reenacting a Star Wars battle using Peeps. It doesn’t get any titty fucking better than violence, competition, and a snack. NOM NOM! So just go get a 12-pack of beer, a 12-pack of Peeps, a shit ton of bud; and knock yourself out. It couldn’t hurt to put a little money on it either if you’re the betting type. (more…)

SOCKS ROX!

Wearing socks on your feet brings in about a 2 on the fun scale, but socks on your hands?!?!? There is no fucking scale. You should really only do this when you are stoned though, because if you aren’t that means you are just some homeschooled Melvin. Here is a link to get a general understanding of this concept to all of the rehtards out there. (more…)

Make bitches WANT to dig around in your trousers!

This is a simple one for you nubbies that want something easy. We all know what the best feeling in the world is, like even BETTER than a handjob. That’s right! Finding money in your pockets! So go to the bank and get ten $1 bills and return to your humble abode.

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Play Russian Roulette… WITH YO’ DICK

Today we will venture into the world of manhood, leaving the little boys at the door. If you are not secure enough with your sexuality then just go watch reruns of Friends and finger your belly button.

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Sweaters…your mom thinks your sexy

Now in the past I have had a love/hate relationship with sweaters for multiple reasons. They keep you warm and can be very comfortable, but they also cover up boobies and allow for a 0% chance of cleavage. And trust me I love titties, I just got back from the doctor with the results. (more…)